Telepopmusik told me to "breathe - just breathe"
but the Yeah Yeah Yeahs want me to "say say say..."
The Ventures think I should "walk, don't run" perhaps they're concerned for my safety, thanks but I'm thinking that
The Demics were right about me: "I gotta get it movin', maaan, I gotta move it right now" and then perhaps I can live up to the mantra I took from
Tykwer, Klimek and Heil - "I wish I was a person with unrelenting breath - I wish I were a heartbeat, that never comes to rest", because when
New Order tells us it's a "world in motion," even
Billy Idol "Don't Stop"
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
radio-activity
A short while back I was invited by Mr. Luke Norton to make a guest appearance on his radio show, out at the Uni. As fate would have it, I was perfectly on time for once and those whom I was to meet were late. I took over the show for slightly more than half an hour. Luke took this as a sign of me being fully capable (which is mostly true) and is going to suggest to the station director that I be offered a timeslot.
Yeeeeeesssss, this coddles my ego. I like it. The show I offer will be later in the evening, thus falling under "experimental" programming. The advantage here is of course that I will get around specific rules. For example, the 40% Canadian content rule. I like Canadian, I do. I want to play Canadian music. I am glad I am not Strictly bound to it, mind you. Another example, which I don't intend to make much use of, is that I can play music with profanities such as "fuck," "shit" and other harsh language in it. There are limits of course. No hate. As stated though, there is no big need to purposely play music with such language.
Every program needs a name. The right name will start everything off well. There are a couple of titles in consideration right now, which I will recount momentarily; but I am hoping that anybody reading this will feel free to suggest a title for a show. Without further ado, here are some possible titles...
"Final Approach" - The first thing I played, of my own volition, was an excerpt from the beginning of the film Final Approach. I like the aircraft / in-flight feel of the name. I like the vaguely sci-fi feel of it, because I want a vaguely sci-fi feel to the show.
"Test Dept." - is actually the name of a band I used to listen to. I don't hear them so much anymore because I lent out albums and never saw them again. This would make a good title inasfar as it reflects the experimental nature of the show, and the band would be a good example of much content. Possibly.
"Radioaktivität" - taken directly from the Kraftwerk song. I loves Kraftwerk, yes I does! This title would also carry a strong sci-fi feel and a definite denotation of what's what. A little unoriginal, I'd have to say - don't you think? *sigh*...
Some kind of variation on the long standing "Voice of Freedom" might be good. Or "Radio Free Sudbury." A dash political, though.
Yeeeeeesssss, this coddles my ego. I like it. The show I offer will be later in the evening, thus falling under "experimental" programming. The advantage here is of course that I will get around specific rules. For example, the 40% Canadian content rule. I like Canadian, I do. I want to play Canadian music. I am glad I am not Strictly bound to it, mind you. Another example, which I don't intend to make much use of, is that I can play music with profanities such as "fuck," "shit" and other harsh language in it. There are limits of course. No hate. As stated though, there is no big need to purposely play music with such language.
Every program needs a name. The right name will start everything off well. There are a couple of titles in consideration right now, which I will recount momentarily; but I am hoping that anybody reading this will feel free to suggest a title for a show. Without further ado, here are some possible titles...
"Final Approach" - The first thing I played, of my own volition, was an excerpt from the beginning of the film Final Approach. I like the aircraft / in-flight feel of the name. I like the vaguely sci-fi feel of it, because I want a vaguely sci-fi feel to the show.
"Test Dept." - is actually the name of a band I used to listen to. I don't hear them so much anymore because I lent out albums and never saw them again. This would make a good title inasfar as it reflects the experimental nature of the show, and the band would be a good example of much content. Possibly.
"Radioaktivität" - taken directly from the Kraftwerk song. I loves Kraftwerk, yes I does! This title would also carry a strong sci-fi feel and a definite denotation of what's what. A little unoriginal, I'd have to say - don't you think? *sigh*...
Some kind of variation on the long standing "Voice of Freedom" might be good. Or "Radio Free Sudbury." A dash political, though.
At home, at work, at play
First off, Congratulations to Spain for making it all the way through and taking the EuroCup. I didn't see the goal (it was 1-0 at full time). In fact I only caught the last two minutes of the game because of a play I performed in.
I have been avoiding writing again for a little while. That is to say I wanted to get to it, but probably 'later.' The play is over, though, and a few things will change subtly and so perhaps it is time to get back to typing.
A Midsummer Night's Dream ran for a grand total of four performances and we always end up asking ourselves why not double the run? Whatever. I will Not say this was a smooth run. Elements of it were smooth, but some parts were outright prickly and stupid. They say it doesn't help to concentrate on the negative, but I am saying this now to get it out of my system so it can be done forever. Nonetheless it was fun overall. I would do it again. Next time as Puck.
Separate topic. I've started work at the Office Bistro. I hope they will not schedule me tomorrow, but then go ahead and schedule me for the rest of the time they are open. I have a good feeling about this place. Of course, I need to make lots of money very quickly, too. Cuz I shall have to move soon.
This place of mine is .... a perpetual mess. Short of constant effort, this is how it will remain. It's slowly getting to me. I have tried to put the point across, but I am guessing I shall have to be Blunt. I am further guessing that will only be successful for a short time. Why do people make other people have to be blunt and unpleasant?
Soon enough it won't matter, of course, because I will flee the country! Another home, far away...
And there it is: for those of you who knnow me, you know I like to write about things in threes. Todays theme "at work, at home, at play" was boosted from a song by Sparks, which is playing right now in my messy damn house
I have been avoiding writing again for a little while. That is to say I wanted to get to it, but probably 'later.' The play is over, though, and a few things will change subtly and so perhaps it is time to get back to typing.
A Midsummer Night's Dream ran for a grand total of four performances and we always end up asking ourselves why not double the run? Whatever. I will Not say this was a smooth run. Elements of it were smooth, but some parts were outright prickly and stupid. They say it doesn't help to concentrate on the negative, but I am saying this now to get it out of my system so it can be done forever. Nonetheless it was fun overall. I would do it again. Next time as Puck.
Separate topic. I've started work at the Office Bistro. I hope they will not schedule me tomorrow, but then go ahead and schedule me for the rest of the time they are open. I have a good feeling about this place. Of course, I need to make lots of money very quickly, too. Cuz I shall have to move soon.
This place of mine is .... a perpetual mess. Short of constant effort, this is how it will remain. It's slowly getting to me. I have tried to put the point across, but I am guessing I shall have to be Blunt. I am further guessing that will only be successful for a short time. Why do people make other people have to be blunt and unpleasant?
Soon enough it won't matter, of course, because I will flee the country! Another home, far away...
And there it is: for those of you who knnow me, you know I like to write about things in threes. Todays theme "at work, at home, at play" was boosted from a song by Sparks, which is playing right now in my messy damn house
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Drawn in the sand
Clearly the topic is lines. We're not talking about little white lines here, either, rather the big extensive lines that will swallow up vast tracts of time in the course of being memorized. I have a device to make all well though...
But first a little background is probably appropriate. With Summer coming on it is once again time for Shakespeare on the lawn at the Thorneloe Chapel. This month, from the 26th to 29th we will be presenting the much loved classic A Midsummer Night's Dream (in a slightly shortened format).
Now as mentioned, the problem with presenting a play is learning your lines, or as the thespians say "going off-book." Generally I find it hard to see how people could do this without some kind of trick. Here are some of mine.
Many would doubt it possible as I state presently that I am both typing this and studying lines simultaneously, but it's true. My first and possibly best trick is to record a reading of the lines involved to my trusty iPod. The easiest thing one will ever remember is a song that they want to sing along to. This way, I can play back any section of my nearly 20 minutes of recitation as though it Were a song. Sort of. I can do this pretty much any time outside of the shower. Better, it allows one to study handsfree and without keeping their eye on the page, making things Incredibly convenient.
Of course having an audible assist is great, but there is still no getting around the actual script. The script is your friend because it is the portable format that maintains your visual cues and all the notes to direct you on subtext that lines alone speak naught of. Pardon the vaguely archaic tone that crept in there.
Blocking (position onstage at any time and actions), tone and inflection, cues and of course silly drawings of the director are all contained in the script in one's own handwriting. And lines, too, naturally.
Lines! Sometimes we get a longer patch of lines - A "monologue," if you will. This is where trick two comes into play. Rather than be daunted by a large passage, the intelligent memorizer will instead begin to divide the passage. There are always logical progressions of sub-thoughts that can stand on there own. By taking these sub-thoughts as their own lines, we connect them with simple mnemonics or one-word categories and memorize in small portions until we have the whole.
But these things seem obvious. These are not the reason this note is being written. The real reason is that today being the 7th of June, there is only one day left for the cast to be off-book. This weighs heavily on me. There are several passages that Y.T. has down pat. Pat, pat.
Neither am I complaining that I am overburdened by the volume of lines to be memorized. I have fewer lines than some of the actors. The longest of monologues are presented by others as well. It is simply this: it is one thing to let one's self down and not be ready, but in taking a role, one makes a compact with all the others involved. One owes them a certain dedication and perseverance to ensure their efforts are equally met.
Offbook by tomorrow. Wish me 'break a leg'...
But first a little background is probably appropriate. With Summer coming on it is once again time for Shakespeare on the lawn at the Thorneloe Chapel. This month, from the 26th to 29th we will be presenting the much loved classic A Midsummer Night's Dream (in a slightly shortened format).
Now as mentioned, the problem with presenting a play is learning your lines, or as the thespians say "going off-book." Generally I find it hard to see how people could do this without some kind of trick. Here are some of mine.
Many would doubt it possible as I state presently that I am both typing this and studying lines simultaneously, but it's true. My first and possibly best trick is to record a reading of the lines involved to my trusty iPod. The easiest thing one will ever remember is a song that they want to sing along to. This way, I can play back any section of my nearly 20 minutes of recitation as though it Were a song. Sort of. I can do this pretty much any time outside of the shower. Better, it allows one to study handsfree and without keeping their eye on the page, making things Incredibly convenient.
Of course having an audible assist is great, but there is still no getting around the actual script. The script is your friend because it is the portable format that maintains your visual cues and all the notes to direct you on subtext that lines alone speak naught of. Pardon the vaguely archaic tone that crept in there.
Blocking (position onstage at any time and actions), tone and inflection, cues and of course silly drawings of the director are all contained in the script in one's own handwriting. And lines, too, naturally.
Lines! Sometimes we get a longer patch of lines - A "monologue," if you will. This is where trick two comes into play. Rather than be daunted by a large passage, the intelligent memorizer will instead begin to divide the passage. There are always logical progressions of sub-thoughts that can stand on there own. By taking these sub-thoughts as their own lines, we connect them with simple mnemonics or one-word categories and memorize in small portions until we have the whole.
But these things seem obvious. These are not the reason this note is being written. The real reason is that today being the 7th of June, there is only one day left for the cast to be off-book. This weighs heavily on me. There are several passages that Y.T. has down pat. Pat, pat.
Neither am I complaining that I am overburdened by the volume of lines to be memorized. I have fewer lines than some of the actors. The longest of monologues are presented by others as well. It is simply this: it is one thing to let one's self down and not be ready, but in taking a role, one makes a compact with all the others involved. One owes them a certain dedication and perseverance to ensure their efforts are equally met.
Offbook by tomorrow. Wish me 'break a leg'...
Thursday, December 06, 2007
because I cannot sleep
perhaps thinking will help.
Andrew didn't think anybody would repost this quiz, so I thought I'd prove him wrong:
1) Some random girl comes up to you and says "who the hell are you"?
You're asking what I'd do? I'd say "look you don't know me yet, but very soon you will.."
2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
my Foot!
4) The last song you listened to?
"Roadrunner" by Jonathan Richmond and Modern Lovers.
5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of his or her funeral music, what would it be?
"Entry of the Gladiators" by Fucik or "Liberty Bell March"
6) Where is your best friend right now?
I'm not sure :(
8) Pick a scar on your body:
I think the one above my left eyebrow
9) What teacher have you hated most and why?
Mrs.White, who took all the joy of math and turned it to hate
15.) Who do you trust with your life?
Ashley Silcock, Sarah Gartshore, my family... hmmm
16) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Bruno Ponce Léon? Johnny Moondog? Citizen Simac?
17) What would you say if someone told you that you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each and every morning?
Obviously that depends on Who said it.
18) What do you hate about your school?
That they didn't accept a four year honour degree and higher than stated requirements for entrance to their MA program.
19) How often do you curse?
Ah shit...
20) Do you trust all of your friends?
All of them. To varying degrees and with specific things. One learns to what extents they can trust people - I've learned the hard way often enough. I still love them.
21) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Of course. Probably not the U.S. though.
22.) Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
electronics and water? why didn't I think of it!!
23) Name two things you would not tolerate in a relationship?
lies.
bullshit.
24) Which one of your friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
I wouldn't wish that on the people I Don't like! I'm sure as hell not doing so for friends.
25) Are you afraid of falling in love?
not at all, it's probably better than smoking
26) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
I thought of ex-lovers, naturally
29) Fill in the blank. I love_____....
"that shit!" or "you" or "gratuitously"
30) What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
move to the caribbean - which people should already know
31) If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
that cute nurse from the night shift
32) How many kids do you want to have?
one. or two. or the whole soccer team. no other number will do
33) Would you make a good parent?
I think so. I have been told so. I have a number of friends that I've been learning from, so Yes
34) Where was your default picture taken?
in my bedroom
35) What is your middle name?
Charles. Some folks think it's Charlie and that's okay, but really it's Charles
36) Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
I am literally Killing time
37) If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I would have been nicer
38) Shoe size?
11
39) What are you wearing right now?
blue jeans, boxers, t-shirt and a sweater
41) Can you make a dollar in change right now?
I bet I can make ten
44) Favorite animal?
Iguanas. They are magical. Followed closely by rats
46) Have you had the chicken pox?
Twice! it is in fact possible...
48) Ever had plastic surgery?
Yup!
49) Who knows you the best?
I ask myself this often enough. Everybody knows different aspects of me...
51) Ever been in a fight with your pet?
sort of. it was pretty one sided...
52) Ever been to Mexico?
No. but nearly went on a day trip to Tijuana when I visited LA
55) Did you miss anyone today?
Yessss, just like everyday!
58) Last person to lay in your bed?
Me! If you meant who besides me I am not answering, it would just sound like something it wasn't anyhow.
59) Last person to see you cry...
I think Ami Lowe
60) Who/what made you cry?
my pet iguana died
62) What are your plans for the weekend?
try to get my shit in order
63) Who do you think will repost this?
not too many people read this anymore. If Vic is the type to repost Crap like this, maybe...
64) Are you happy right now?
I'm not sad
66) Are you hungry?
I just had apple crisp and bread, so no
67) Are you a forgiving person?
Very much so.
68) Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
Not with my best friend, but I have with others
70) Are you talking to someone while doing this?
I am quiet as a churchmouse.
72) What are you about to do right now?
go to bed
Andrew didn't think anybody would repost this quiz, so I thought I'd prove him wrong:
1) Some random girl comes up to you and says "who the hell are you"?
You're asking what I'd do? I'd say "look you don't know me yet, but very soon you will.."
2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
my Foot!
4) The last song you listened to?
"Roadrunner" by Jonathan Richmond and Modern Lovers.
5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of his or her funeral music, what would it be?
"Entry of the Gladiators" by Fucik or "Liberty Bell March"
6) Where is your best friend right now?
I'm not sure :(
8) Pick a scar on your body:
I think the one above my left eyebrow
9) What teacher have you hated most and why?
Mrs.White, who took all the joy of math and turned it to hate
15.) Who do you trust with your life?
Ashley Silcock, Sarah Gartshore, my family... hmmm
16) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
Bruno Ponce Léon? Johnny Moondog? Citizen Simac?
17) What would you say if someone told you that you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up to your face each and every morning?
Obviously that depends on Who said it.
18) What do you hate about your school?
That they didn't accept a four year honour degree and higher than stated requirements for entrance to their MA program.
19) How often do you curse?
Ah shit...
20) Do you trust all of your friends?
All of them. To varying degrees and with specific things. One learns to what extents they can trust people - I've learned the hard way often enough. I still love them.
21) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Of course. Probably not the U.S. though.
22.) Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
electronics and water? why didn't I think of it!!
23) Name two things you would not tolerate in a relationship?
lies.
bullshit.
24) Which one of your friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
I wouldn't wish that on the people I Don't like! I'm sure as hell not doing so for friends.
25) Are you afraid of falling in love?
not at all, it's probably better than smoking
26) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
I thought of ex-lovers, naturally
29) Fill in the blank. I love_____....
"that shit!" or "you" or "gratuitously"
30) What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
move to the caribbean - which people should already know
31) If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
that cute nurse from the night shift
32) How many kids do you want to have?
one. or two. or the whole soccer team. no other number will do
33) Would you make a good parent?
I think so. I have been told so. I have a number of friends that I've been learning from, so Yes
34) Where was your default picture taken?
in my bedroom
35) What is your middle name?
Charles. Some folks think it's Charlie and that's okay, but really it's Charles
36) Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
I am literally Killing time
37) If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I would have been nicer
38) Shoe size?
11
39) What are you wearing right now?
blue jeans, boxers, t-shirt and a sweater
41) Can you make a dollar in change right now?
I bet I can make ten
44) Favorite animal?
Iguanas. They are magical. Followed closely by rats
46) Have you had the chicken pox?
Twice! it is in fact possible...
48) Ever had plastic surgery?
Yup!
49) Who knows you the best?
I ask myself this often enough. Everybody knows different aspects of me...
51) Ever been in a fight with your pet?
sort of. it was pretty one sided...
52) Ever been to Mexico?
No. but nearly went on a day trip to Tijuana when I visited LA
55) Did you miss anyone today?
Yessss, just like everyday!
58) Last person to lay in your bed?
Me! If you meant who besides me I am not answering, it would just sound like something it wasn't anyhow.
59) Last person to see you cry...
I think Ami Lowe
60) Who/what made you cry?
my pet iguana died
62) What are your plans for the weekend?
try to get my shit in order
63) Who do you think will repost this?
not too many people read this anymore. If Vic is the type to repost Crap like this, maybe...
64) Are you happy right now?
I'm not sad
66) Are you hungry?
I just had apple crisp and bread, so no
67) Are you a forgiving person?
Very much so.
68) Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
Not with my best friend, but I have with others
70) Are you talking to someone while doing this?
I am quiet as a churchmouse.
72) What are you about to do right now?
go to bed
Sunday, December 02, 2007
The next Rat!
If you've read this faithfully, you will already be familiar with Jill, my Rat. When Penelope died, Jill was alone, so I had to find her a roommate. I never did introduce the newest addition to our house...
Katie, or Kate, is the young Rat currently living next door to Jill. They are separated because the fight for dominance had been getting gratuitous and bloody. I shall try to integrate them again soon. At any rate, Kate is beautiful and so good natured - though still with a healthy dose of scepticism. There will be a facebook link up shortly to a picture of Kate and Jill.
Katie, or Kate, is the young Rat currently living next door to Jill. They are separated because the fight for dominance had been getting gratuitous and bloody. I shall try to integrate them again soon. At any rate, Kate is beautiful and so good natured - though still with a healthy dose of scepticism. There will be a facebook link up shortly to a picture of Kate and Jill.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Shalll we play a little game?
A little game of...
...Murder?!?! :P
This is post 187, which, for the uninitiated, is the police code for homicide. I promised to make this one topical. So here's a little game I propose to Kill some time! I will write lines from different songs. Whoever identifies songs and artists in order presented will win an actual handwritten note from yours truly of at least two pages length. If you can execute this task with Extra information pertaining to the lines, then I will probably even let you pick the topic in the letter! First three to satisfy the conditions win.
Bonus: you just have to guess ten of these!
Shall we? here are the mystery lines:
1 "Murderer! Man on fire - Murderer! I've seen the eyes of living dead"
2 "I can turn and walk away or I can fire the gun, staring at the sky, staring at the sun"
3 "Fate - up against your will - through the thick and thin..."
4 "I heard you on the wireless back in '52, lying awake in bed and tuning in on you..."
5 "fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better Run run run run run run run away" (This one's a freebie!)
6 "I'm gonna run, gonna run till I hit the sun some little cunt's gonna get my gun"
7 "I been very tempted to grab it from the till - I've been very hungry, but not enough to kill"
8 "Tell me tell me tell me the answer - You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer" (also a giveaway)
9 "I'm a wicked young lady, but I've been trying hard lately.. O fuck it! I'm a monster! I admit it!"
10 "I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd, I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud"
11 "I know they're gonna hang me, tomorrow I'll be dead, though I never even harmed a hair on poor little Laurie's head."
12 "...you know I caught her messin' 'round with another man. Huh! And that ain't too cool"
13 "I stuck that lovin' 44 beneath my head"
14 "The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload..."
15 "What did her daddy do? It's Janie's last I.O.U."
16 "My adrenaline's pumpin. I got my stereo bumpin. I'm 'bout to kill me somethin. A police stopped me for nuthin'!
Well that's a whole lotta Killin' goin' on eh? Yes indeed. If you can't figure them out then get vengeful and add some that I can't figure out! Keeping to the theme, Chris and Angelle ordered Indian food today at my influence (cuz I could Murder a curry :P)! Eventually I shall write another post going 187 on specific corporations like Bell...
Incidentally, hands up those who've heard about the guy that the RCMP tasered to death. Did you see the video? (http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2007/11/14/bc-taservideo.html) Did you hear anything at all about the use of a billy bat on the head of an unconscious victim? Yes, it's true. When it comes to killing may I suggest you all be HyperWary of anyone who is Supposed to carry a firearm? Remember, trust nobody with your life - cuz it's your Life!!!
I think there will have to be a part two to this...
tune in again for the next installment
...Murder?!?! :P
This is post 187, which, for the uninitiated, is the police code for homicide. I promised to make this one topical. So here's a little game I propose to Kill some time! I will write lines from different songs. Whoever identifies songs and artists in order presented will win an actual handwritten note from yours truly of at least two pages length. If you can execute this task with Extra information pertaining to the lines, then I will probably even let you pick the topic in the letter! First three to satisfy the conditions win.
Bonus: you just have to guess ten of these!
Shall we? here are the mystery lines:
1 "Murderer! Man on fire - Murderer! I've seen the eyes of living dead"
2 "I can turn and walk away or I can fire the gun, staring at the sky, staring at the sun"
3 "Fate - up against your will - through the thick and thin..."
4 "I heard you on the wireless back in '52, lying awake in bed and tuning in on you..."
5 "fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better Run run run run run run run away" (This one's a freebie!)
6 "I'm gonna run, gonna run till I hit the sun some little cunt's gonna get my gun"
7 "I been very tempted to grab it from the till - I've been very hungry, but not enough to kill"
8 "Tell me tell me tell me the answer - You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer" (also a giveaway)
9 "I'm a wicked young lady, but I've been trying hard lately.. O fuck it! I'm a monster! I admit it!"
10 "I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd, I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud"
11 "I know they're gonna hang me, tomorrow I'll be dead, though I never even harmed a hair on poor little Laurie's head."
12 "...you know I caught her messin' 'round with another man. Huh! And that ain't too cool"
13 "I stuck that lovin' 44 beneath my head"
14 "The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload..."
15 "What did her daddy do? It's Janie's last I.O.U."
16 "My adrenaline's pumpin. I got my stereo bumpin. I'm 'bout to kill me somethin. A police stopped me for nuthin'!
Well that's a whole lotta Killin' goin' on eh? Yes indeed. If you can't figure them out then get vengeful and add some that I can't figure out! Keeping to the theme, Chris and Angelle ordered Indian food today at my influence (cuz I could Murder a curry :P)! Eventually I shall write another post going 187 on specific corporations like Bell...
Incidentally, hands up those who've heard about the guy that the RCMP tasered to death. Did you see the video? (http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2007/11/14/bc-taservideo.html) Did you hear anything at all about the use of a billy bat on the head of an unconscious victim? Yes, it's true. When it comes to killing may I suggest you all be HyperWary of anyone who is Supposed to carry a firearm? Remember, trust nobody with your life - cuz it's your Life!!!
I think there will have to be a part two to this...
tune in again for the next installment
Distractions, distractions...
Sure, sure, I promised earlier that I would have already reached my 200th post. Well I was wrong. I, like so much of the world, have been on FaceBook lately.
Let's start with FaceBook, shall we? It really is a convenience somehow and yet I loathe that site. There are so many little applets that people always nag with. What a pain in the ass! But then I don't want to be rude, these people are nagging cuz they care and it's a form of interaction. And I love these people! They can't All give me a call. I suppose I love the pain in the neck applets for the intention behind them.
Now Blogger and ƒB are different utilities and I realize that I Miss Blogger. I like the idea of having content control as opposed to - ƒB who Claim content rights. Let me say that again. FaceBook claims content rights in their EULA. Some people have figured this out and I expect it is the prime reason I hear "I'm getting off facebook." Good for you. To everyone else: you best start thinking twice about that stuff. Don't put anything important on it. And for Chrissakes how can you Not know that you are being DataMined?!?! So for the Love Whatever you most want to be loved By, Get in there and LIE! Lie, Lie, Lie and fuck with those Marketers!
I suppose the unilateral-ity of Blogger is also a bonus I appreciate, which I wouldn't have cottoned to unless I read a friend's blog today. Well, associate really, I spent a long time suspecting this person didn't like me at all. A link will show up in the side bar soon, in case you trust my judgements.
Let's start with FaceBook, shall we? It really is a convenience somehow and yet I loathe that site. There are so many little applets that people always nag with. What a pain in the ass! But then I don't want to be rude, these people are nagging cuz they care and it's a form of interaction. And I love these people! They can't All give me a call. I suppose I love the pain in the neck applets for the intention behind them.
Now Blogger and ƒB are different utilities and I realize that I Miss Blogger. I like the idea of having content control as opposed to - ƒB who Claim content rights. Let me say that again. FaceBook claims content rights in their EULA. Some people have figured this out and I expect it is the prime reason I hear "I'm getting off facebook." Good for you. To everyone else: you best start thinking twice about that stuff. Don't put anything important on it. And for Chrissakes how can you Not know that you are being DataMined?!?! So for the Love Whatever you most want to be loved By, Get in there and LIE! Lie, Lie, Lie and fuck with those Marketers!
I suppose the unilateral-ity of Blogger is also a bonus I appreciate, which I wouldn't have cottoned to unless I read a friend's blog today. Well, associate really, I spent a long time suspecting this person didn't like me at all. A link will show up in the side bar soon, in case you trust my judgements.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
thinking of old times and friends...
We met when we were in school. Never took no shit from no one, we werent fools.
The teacher says we're dumb. We're only having fun. We piss on everyone in the classroom
When we got thrown out I left without much fuss. On weekends we'd go dancing down streatham on the bus
You always made me laugh, got me in bad fights, play me pool all night, smokin menthol
I practised daily in my room. You were down the crown planning your next move...
Go on a nicking spree, hit the wrong guy - each of you get three years in brixton
I did my very best to write. How was butlins? Were the screws too tight? When you lot get out were gonna hit the town - well burn it fuckin down to a cinder
Cos years have passed and things have changed and I move anyway I wanna go
Ill never forget the feeling I got when I heard that you'd got home. An I'll never forget the smile on my face when I knew where you would be...
- And if you're in the crown tonight, have a drink on me
But go easy...step lightly...stay free
The teacher says we're dumb. We're only having fun. We piss on everyone in the classroom
When we got thrown out I left without much fuss. On weekends we'd go dancing down streatham on the bus
You always made me laugh, got me in bad fights, play me pool all night, smokin menthol
I practised daily in my room. You were down the crown planning your next move...
Go on a nicking spree, hit the wrong guy - each of you get three years in brixton
I did my very best to write. How was butlins? Were the screws too tight? When you lot get out were gonna hit the town - well burn it fuckin down to a cinder
Cos years have passed and things have changed and I move anyway I wanna go
Ill never forget the feeling I got when I heard that you'd got home. An I'll never forget the smile on my face when I knew where you would be...
- And if you're in the crown tonight, have a drink on me
But go easy...step lightly...stay free
0 - 100 in X seconds
My final class ended today at about two in the afternoon. It's all done but the writing. By my count the writing is approximately thirty five pages.
Now, I haven't been on this site since early February and I miss it, yes I do. My goal is simple: All school related writing done in a week and a half and my two hundredth post here on blogger by the end of the month. further, just for ambition's sake, a script for a movie in no more than say two and a half weeks.
and I need to get a job. Fast. - ish.
The entries here will be cheating, one will note that they are extremely similar to what I must hand in for class. The shorter ones, anyhow.
That said, tune in soon to enjoy me elucidating mountains of critical theory. I'm off to get something done.
pray for me, to whichever God you believe in
Now, I haven't been on this site since early February and I miss it, yes I do. My goal is simple: All school related writing done in a week and a half and my two hundredth post here on blogger by the end of the month. further, just for ambition's sake, a script for a movie in no more than say two and a half weeks.
and I need to get a job. Fast. - ish.
The entries here will be cheating, one will note that they are extremely similar to what I must hand in for class. The shorter ones, anyhow.
That said, tune in soon to enjoy me elucidating mountains of critical theory. I'm off to get something done.
pray for me, to whichever God you believe in
Monday, February 05, 2007
Exam tonight
Yup the Exam is tonight.
All class members need 70%.
Or they are booted mercilessly from the class.
Mercilessly!
Keep your fingers crossed for me.
All class members need 70%.
Or they are booted mercilessly from the class.
Mercilessly!
Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
It's all about me today!
It really IS all about me today.
If you don't believe it read the two other entries I posted today.
That'll prove it's about mmmME!
MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee-EEEE! (^_^)
Oh! Hi! look at you. Now, Look at Me!
sorry, how selfish. Hello all readers. Hope you have a lovely week. It looks to be shaping up as a right decent week.
If you don't believe it read the two other entries I posted today.
That'll prove it's about mmmME!
MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee-EEEE! (^_^)
Oh! Hi! look at you. Now, Look at Me!
sorry, how selfish. Hello all readers. Hope you have a lovely week. It looks to be shaping up as a right decent week.
Not all vampires suck blood...
Energy! You dirty little vampires, I know what you were thinking. Of course in specific cases I will be more than happy to suck your blood.
Energy; O, my flock, that is what I need from you now. You see there's just sooooo much to be done, but I haven't been able to pull it together. No man is an island. I only get anywhere with the lot of you, so I have to ask this of you all:
Channel me some Karma, Power-level me, Kick my ass a little, Lend me your strength, Transfer some charge to me, Be my muse, Push me, Give Me Your Life Force and I promise to reciprocate in the fullness of time. As I have previously stated, my triumph Is your triumph!
If you all give just a little I will catch fire, I will become incandescent. Won't that be fun? Seeing me immolate? Science suggests that if I move quickly enough while this process, my gravity will increase - and then I can be a star! A star for my readers, of Course!
Energy; O, my flock, that is what I need from you now. You see there's just sooooo much to be done, but I haven't been able to pull it together. No man is an island. I only get anywhere with the lot of you, so I have to ask this of you all:
Channel me some Karma, Power-level me, Kick my ass a little, Lend me your strength, Transfer some charge to me, Be my muse, Push me, Give Me Your Life Force and I promise to reciprocate in the fullness of time. As I have previously stated, my triumph Is your triumph!
If you all give just a little I will catch fire, I will become incandescent. Won't that be fun? Seeing me immolate? Science suggests that if I move quickly enough while this process, my gravity will increase - and then I can be a star! A star for my readers, of Course!
XXX-V!
The triple X represents extreme sexuality. The V represents victory. Funny, but I expect neither of these things to figure into my day at all. Of course taken together, we have the roman numerals for 35. I am officially middle-age.
I Feel Like I am 19! Sure, plenty of readers here in Simacia, have heard this before. But How does one account for this discrepancy? Do you all really understand the problems presented? I am unresolved. I am unable to resolve. I'm not complaining. I look around and see many people my age who are miserable (relatively). Or maybe I just surmise that I enjoy life more than they. Perhaps they've reached their apex, while in many ways I am still coming into my stride.
It is a little ridiculous to be coming into your stride at half-life. Anyways, I often act like a kid and in some ways I Refuse to give it up.
...uhhhhmmmm. Mmmmhm. There was a sort of semi-squishy introspective point I was leading up to here. It was going to be uplifting and wise like your grandmother would have told you. Y'know? But dammit, it's gone. So:
Rock On! Go out and celebrate my existance! Doesn't matter if you see me or not - Just go out and have a wikkid cool time some point this week. And think of me when you do
I Feel Like I am 19! Sure, plenty of readers here in Simacia, have heard this before. But How does one account for this discrepancy? Do you all really understand the problems presented? I am unresolved. I am unable to resolve. I'm not complaining. I look around and see many people my age who are miserable (relatively). Or maybe I just surmise that I enjoy life more than they. Perhaps they've reached their apex, while in many ways I am still coming into my stride.
It is a little ridiculous to be coming into your stride at half-life. Anyways, I often act like a kid and in some ways I Refuse to give it up.
...uhhhhmmmm. Mmmmhm. There was a sort of semi-squishy introspective point I was leading up to here. It was going to be uplifting and wise like your grandmother would have told you. Y'know? But dammit, it's gone. So:
Rock On! Go out and celebrate my existance! Doesn't matter if you see me or not - Just go out and have a wikkid cool time some point this week. And think of me when you do
Thursday, January 11, 2007
quick Hello
You saw me walking the other day.
nowhere specific
no particular time of day
but I hope you were smiling
when you saw me
nowhere specific
no particular time of day
but I hope you were smiling
when you saw me
Intro to Jill and apology to my Jills
You may know that Stella left us a little while ago. Shed a tear, take a drink. Currently, there is a new girl living with Penelope and myself. Her name is Jill. I can't see where the three girls named Jill that I have been friends with will be flattered by having a rat named after them, so I will qualify it a little.
As I say, I have personally known three Jills. Each of them are fun, funny, intelligent, saucy, good looking, sociable, capable people (and other good traits). They are all these things, yet all these things are expressed differently by the different Jills.
When I decide to bring another person or animal into my life, I hope to shape them somewhat. In the case of my new rat roommate, I thought it would be nice to have someone similar to my Jill friends around. (I rarely see any of the human Jills). So there, in a nutshell, is my mentality. I hope no Jill anywhere is offended.
Jill is a fancy rat. She is slightly hooded with a greyish caramel colour. In fact she looks plenty like Penelope but younger; the colour hasn't taken yet. My newest roommate has yet to learn when food is being offered and subsequently comes off as very friendly, trying to hold your hand instead of bite it like food. She is fairly high energy - she climbs the walls but not the ceiling and as yet no acrobatics.
Jill!
As I say, I have personally known three Jills. Each of them are fun, funny, intelligent, saucy, good looking, sociable, capable people (and other good traits). They are all these things, yet all these things are expressed differently by the different Jills.
When I decide to bring another person or animal into my life, I hope to shape them somewhat. In the case of my new rat roommate, I thought it would be nice to have someone similar to my Jill friends around. (I rarely see any of the human Jills). So there, in a nutshell, is my mentality. I hope no Jill anywhere is offended.
Jill is a fancy rat. She is slightly hooded with a greyish caramel colour. In fact she looks plenty like Penelope but younger; the colour hasn't taken yet. My newest roommate has yet to learn when food is being offered and subsequently comes off as very friendly, trying to hold your hand instead of bite it like food. She is fairly high energy - she climbs the walls but not the ceiling and as yet no acrobatics.
Jill!
Instance and interrupt
This is issue #177. Ten letters from now I shall write about homicide.
In the meantime I shall talk about the trouble with holidays. It takes me some time to get my momentum going. By the time of year when we nail people to crosses, errmm... that is Celebrate their life, I am in full swing. I am all engines go. Then comes this nearly month long interrupt that messes with all my good efforts.
The trip to see family, the extra parties that go with the cultural attitude (parties are fun), the spending to prove you're a good person - it all gets in the way. From a work point of view I'd be much happier bypassing the holidays.
New Year's Eve is okay, because it's a one off. Now I should also point out how family seems to go slightly insane at this time of year, until you are face to face and suddenly they are stone cold sober and sane. Unnerving effect, as far as I am concerned.
Where was I? Oh! Yes, I am really out of whack with my classes. Damn you, holidays! It would be best to have only reading week early in the new year. We really don't need more than that.
In the meantime I shall talk about the trouble with holidays. It takes me some time to get my momentum going. By the time of year when we nail people to crosses, errmm... that is Celebrate their life, I am in full swing. I am all engines go. Then comes this nearly month long interrupt that messes with all my good efforts.
The trip to see family, the extra parties that go with the cultural attitude (parties are fun), the spending to prove you're a good person - it all gets in the way. From a work point of view I'd be much happier bypassing the holidays.
New Year's Eve is okay, because it's a one off. Now I should also point out how family seems to go slightly insane at this time of year, until you are face to face and suddenly they are stone cold sober and sane. Unnerving effect, as far as I am concerned.
Where was I? Oh! Yes, I am really out of whack with my classes. Damn you, holidays! It would be best to have only reading week early in the new year. We really don't need more than that.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Stella
Stella is my younger pet rat. As some readers know already, she went to the vet with a severe pneumonia, but pulled through that remarkably. Two weeks later she returned to the vet. Her breathing had recovered (though was still laboured), but she had not gained any weight. In fact, she had dropped to 150 grams.
Less than an hour after coming home she'd breathed her last. I've heard many condolences on her passing, which I appreciate. Honestly, given that we all go sometime, this was a good way to go. Of course I am sad, I will miss her, but I was also lucky to get an extra two weeks with her.
Bi bi, Stella
Less than an hour after coming home she'd breathed her last. I've heard many condolences on her passing, which I appreciate. Honestly, given that we all go sometime, this was a good way to go. Of course I am sad, I will miss her, but I was also lucky to get an extra two weeks with her.
Bi bi, Stella
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Various thoughts...
Dah!As Stella recovers from serious pneumonia, Penelope has developed a tumour. She goes under the knife tomorrow afternoon - for the second time!
I'm in the school paper. Perhaps I should have used an exclamation mark for that, but schmeh. I also spoke to the Lambda editor about doing photography for them.
I spoke with Jeff from Lit. Crit. & Theory, while he worked away in CKLU today. It made me remember that I was going to get a show on the station. I should look into that again.
Possibly taking dance lessons with Lil' Liz Van Tassel. She is already a dancer, I am a clod. It will be fun, but interesting.
Really, Brutallly, Seriously behind with the work for Athabasca. This will not do. Sympathize! Or, better yet, motivate me. I would really appreciate it and promise to do the same for you, when you need it.
I am playing Risk with the crew from LOCS tomorrow. Not a bad game, really. I would like to hang out with one person in particular who will be there... A little coffee would be nice anyway.
lessee; Rats, Risk, Radio, Paper, School...
I reckon that's it for now. I have a date with Percy Bysshe b'nun-d'dada Shelley. (Not even the English majors knew that was one of his middle names!)
hope you enjoyed this fluff...
I'm in the school paper. Perhaps I should have used an exclamation mark for that, but schmeh. I also spoke to the Lambda editor about doing photography for them.
I spoke with Jeff from Lit. Crit. & Theory, while he worked away in CKLU today. It made me remember that I was going to get a show on the station. I should look into that again.
Possibly taking dance lessons with Lil' Liz Van Tassel. She is already a dancer, I am a clod. It will be fun, but interesting.
Really, Brutallly, Seriously behind with the work for Athabasca. This will not do. Sympathize! Or, better yet, motivate me. I would really appreciate it and promise to do the same for you, when you need it.
I am playing Risk with the crew from LOCS tomorrow. Not a bad game, really. I would like to hang out with one person in particular who will be there... A little coffee would be nice anyway.
lessee; Rats, Risk, Radio, Paper, School...
I reckon that's it for now. I have a date with Percy Bysshe b'nun-d'dada Shelley. (Not even the English majors knew that was one of his middle names!)
hope you enjoyed this fluff...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I was recently reminded that I once theorized that there are four different types of coffee. Try not to think “Columbian,” or “Dark Roast” here. More succinctly, there are four purposes to coffee. I was asked today what they are, but the original impulse was gone, so I had to scavenge my own mentality to reconstruct the notion. Here's what I came up with:
C1
The most common, and therefore let us call it Type 1 coffee, is shared with friends. It is social coffee, or more accurately, socializing coffee. One discusses their day, family, the crazy weekend that they endured. The coffee is the pretext to an event where we hone our social skills. Type 1 - Friendly coffee.
C2
I cannot comment on the commonality of the remaining types, though I would guess that this is next: coffee as the common bond. This is the junkie's coffee. Let's face it, we all drink the stuff and many times have little else in common. Life puts us in situations where we necessarily end up working with these people whom we have little in common with. I liken this coffee to the banners we wave in a stadium. We all support the same team, it seems to say; therefore, Type 2 - Stadium coffee. Junkie's coffee also kind of covers the “I can't wake up without it” cup we have in the morning, though I would not argue with anyone who chose to represent it as its own genre.
C3
Thankfully, the next purpose is fairly uncommon, though I had this coffee last night. This coffee provides a reason to get together with someone when they need help or support. Society is weird like that. Many of us can simply say “I need your help / support.” Perhaps itʼs the idea of that extra common bond that reinforces the person understands you. This makes their support seem more valid, or better. Or something like that. It is also nice to have the option to pause without saying anything, while one contemplates the hardships at hand. This is provided for by slowly sipping at the coffee. Type 3, then - Support coffee.
C4 (which can provide quite the bang)
One of the most obvious is the COFFEE. This is the beverage that affords one some extra time (usually one on one) to try and convince another that they should be Closer. Intimate. Physical. I call it COFFEE because of a comedian who once discussed this (Eddie Izzard). For those of you not familiar with Izzard, let us label it as Type 4 - Sexy coffee. or, sssSexy Coffee!
My primitive mentality produced these four purposes more or less immediately, however, in the time it took to write this I have identified to more types that deserve recognition. They can often be linked to Type 4 coffee, but don't Have to be.
C5
This coffee is again usually one on one, though variations are noted depending on a person's ambitions. Its purpose is to probe the personality of someone you have recently met. One is looking for how well they will get along with the other. Clearly this may connect to Type 4 coffee because one may finish a few cups of the black gold and think “I like this person, I want to take this person to bed,” or possibly “Let's fuck.” There is a second purpose to this coffee though. One may be looking to see if the other person will make a goodly friend. I suppose
one might be guaging if the other will be a suitable addition to the company (i.e. interview coffee). Since there are different manifestations, we require an umbrella term. My first idea was “Worthiness coffee,” which though accurate, sounds cynical. I opt instead to suggest Type 5 - Tentative coffee.
C6
The final coffee type I offer now for your consideration also subdivides into two major categories. Indeed, sub-divide as you see fit, but the concepts of necessity and luxury present themselves. On the necessity side we have the “Damn it's cold, I need to warm up with a nice hot cup of” coffee. On the luxury side I am thinking of when the warmth imbued by the beverage is more spiritual. An excellent example: Waking up exhausted after a long night of successful Type 4 coffees with someone you truly adore and quietly sipping on a fresh cup of breakfast blend while you massage your partner's feet and contemplate the fact that it is Sunday and all your responsabilities have been attended to. Type 6 - Coffee of Warmth. Probably this is the Best cup of coffee one can have.
IMPORTANT! - When doing coffee, be sure you know which type you are drinking! Many a disastrous occasion has arisen out of confusion over just what coffee type is going down your throat. Sometimes the differences are glaringly obvious - it is difficult to confuse Type 6 coffee with good old fashioned Types 1 or 5. Though I hate the term, if you Do confuse these types there is a chance you might be “easy.” Seek help from a respected barrista.
Consider the person and their situation, when inviting anyone for coffee. Does your intended coffee type match their most likely preference? Some people will never taste Type 4 coffee, some can't start their day without it. If it's Type 3 coffee, ask yourself if you really have enough time (these coffees can be tediously repetitive and take Hours for just one cup). And for heaven's sake learn to recognize when it's only ever going to Be Type 1 coffee.
Remember that there are special times where coffee types overlap. It is possible on occasion to have Type 1 for a long time with someone, but circumstance suddenly changes it to Type 4. Learn to recognize the subtle differences and your cheesy horoscope might come true for once. Remember also that though Type 3 can overlap well with and reinforce Type 1, it's often disastrous when mixed with Type 4. Adding alcohol to your coffee (even an innocent dash of Bailey's) can compound the issue. This is not to say that alcohol is verboten, sometimes the added warmth of some Tia Maria can enhance the right type of coffee, especially 4 and 6. Keep in mind that each alcohol has a personality of its own that will influence and possibly potentiate with the coffee type.
It tends to be a social phenomenon that Asking someone what type of coffee you are enjoying with them, especially after the first refill or later, dampens the situation considerably. Further, it makes one look somewhat naive or even a bit of a dullard. Moreover, asking may be considered crude and boorish. Again, with the right measure of charisma and delicate handling, asking may be acceptable. There are documented instances where asking, handled well, has advantageously turned one type to another (to the delight and amusement of all involved). Simply put: Be Careful about Asking!
A note about Decaf:
There are those members of society who have very strong reactions to the contents of a lovely coffee. Caffeine is the main problem in these cases. In the past, Decaf was considered somewhat frivolous and suggested that the imbiber was not serious about anything. In these semi-enlightened times of political correctness, it is considered a faux pas to make such assumptions. If one is open about drinking Decaf, it is not rude to inquire if they have trouble with regular coffee, just do not pry.
DISCLAIMER! - It should be noted that although in recent times it is common enough to see someone drinking coffee in a chic café while reading the DaVinci Code™, there is no hidden, kabbalic or otherwise mystic numerology to the coffee types presented here. If you find yourself seeking secret meanings in these numbers, you have likely had far too much of whatever type you're drinking and have become paranoid. Do not consult a barrista! Barristas practice their own weird mysticism and cannot help. Instead seek a coffee cessation worker.
I would like to share with you an ancient poem about coffee. It was written in a male dominated society, so please try to see the value beyond the single sexist remark it contains.
Good Coffee Should Be
Black as Night
Strong as Death
Sweet as a Woman
*sigh* It brings a tear to the ee, doesnʼt it? Now, as regular readers will acknowledge, I often ask for feedback. By all means if I have left out significant elements, share your view with the rest of us. Until we meet again, maintain full speed, stay up late, wake up tired but determined.
C1
The most common, and therefore let us call it Type 1 coffee, is shared with friends. It is social coffee, or more accurately, socializing coffee. One discusses their day, family, the crazy weekend that they endured. The coffee is the pretext to an event where we hone our social skills. Type 1 - Friendly coffee.
C2
I cannot comment on the commonality of the remaining types, though I would guess that this is next: coffee as the common bond. This is the junkie's coffee. Let's face it, we all drink the stuff and many times have little else in common. Life puts us in situations where we necessarily end up working with these people whom we have little in common with. I liken this coffee to the banners we wave in a stadium. We all support the same team, it seems to say; therefore, Type 2 - Stadium coffee. Junkie's coffee also kind of covers the “I can't wake up without it” cup we have in the morning, though I would not argue with anyone who chose to represent it as its own genre.
C3
Thankfully, the next purpose is fairly uncommon, though I had this coffee last night. This coffee provides a reason to get together with someone when they need help or support. Society is weird like that. Many of us can simply say “I need your help / support.” Perhaps itʼs the idea of that extra common bond that reinforces the person understands you. This makes their support seem more valid, or better. Or something like that. It is also nice to have the option to pause without saying anything, while one contemplates the hardships at hand. This is provided for by slowly sipping at the coffee. Type 3, then - Support coffee.
C4 (which can provide quite the bang)
One of the most obvious is the COFFEE. This is the beverage that affords one some extra time (usually one on one) to try and convince another that they should be Closer. Intimate. Physical. I call it COFFEE because of a comedian who once discussed this (Eddie Izzard). For those of you not familiar with Izzard, let us label it as Type 4 - Sexy coffee. or, sssSexy Coffee!
My primitive mentality produced these four purposes more or less immediately, however, in the time it took to write this I have identified to more types that deserve recognition. They can often be linked to Type 4 coffee, but don't Have to be.
C5
This coffee is again usually one on one, though variations are noted depending on a person's ambitions. Its purpose is to probe the personality of someone you have recently met. One is looking for how well they will get along with the other. Clearly this may connect to Type 4 coffee because one may finish a few cups of the black gold and think “I like this person, I want to take this person to bed,” or possibly “Let's fuck.” There is a second purpose to this coffee though. One may be looking to see if the other person will make a goodly friend. I suppose
one might be guaging if the other will be a suitable addition to the company (i.e. interview coffee). Since there are different manifestations, we require an umbrella term. My first idea was “Worthiness coffee,” which though accurate, sounds cynical. I opt instead to suggest Type 5 - Tentative coffee.
C6
The final coffee type I offer now for your consideration also subdivides into two major categories. Indeed, sub-divide as you see fit, but the concepts of necessity and luxury present themselves. On the necessity side we have the “Damn it's cold, I need to warm up with a nice hot cup of” coffee. On the luxury side I am thinking of when the warmth imbued by the beverage is more spiritual. An excellent example: Waking up exhausted after a long night of successful Type 4 coffees with someone you truly adore and quietly sipping on a fresh cup of breakfast blend while you massage your partner's feet and contemplate the fact that it is Sunday and all your responsabilities have been attended to. Type 6 - Coffee of Warmth. Probably this is the Best cup of coffee one can have.
IMPORTANT! - When doing coffee, be sure you know which type you are drinking! Many a disastrous occasion has arisen out of confusion over just what coffee type is going down your throat. Sometimes the differences are glaringly obvious - it is difficult to confuse Type 6 coffee with good old fashioned Types 1 or 5. Though I hate the term, if you Do confuse these types there is a chance you might be “easy.” Seek help from a respected barrista.
Consider the person and their situation, when inviting anyone for coffee. Does your intended coffee type match their most likely preference? Some people will never taste Type 4 coffee, some can't start their day without it. If it's Type 3 coffee, ask yourself if you really have enough time (these coffees can be tediously repetitive and take Hours for just one cup). And for heaven's sake learn to recognize when it's only ever going to Be Type 1 coffee.
Remember that there are special times where coffee types overlap. It is possible on occasion to have Type 1 for a long time with someone, but circumstance suddenly changes it to Type 4. Learn to recognize the subtle differences and your cheesy horoscope might come true for once. Remember also that though Type 3 can overlap well with and reinforce Type 1, it's often disastrous when mixed with Type 4. Adding alcohol to your coffee (even an innocent dash of Bailey's) can compound the issue. This is not to say that alcohol is verboten, sometimes the added warmth of some Tia Maria can enhance the right type of coffee, especially 4 and 6. Keep in mind that each alcohol has a personality of its own that will influence and possibly potentiate with the coffee type.
It tends to be a social phenomenon that Asking someone what type of coffee you are enjoying with them, especially after the first refill or later, dampens the situation considerably. Further, it makes one look somewhat naive or even a bit of a dullard. Moreover, asking may be considered crude and boorish. Again, with the right measure of charisma and delicate handling, asking may be acceptable. There are documented instances where asking, handled well, has advantageously turned one type to another (to the delight and amusement of all involved). Simply put: Be Careful about Asking!
A note about Decaf:
There are those members of society who have very strong reactions to the contents of a lovely coffee. Caffeine is the main problem in these cases. In the past, Decaf was considered somewhat frivolous and suggested that the imbiber was not serious about anything. In these semi-enlightened times of political correctness, it is considered a faux pas to make such assumptions. If one is open about drinking Decaf, it is not rude to inquire if they have trouble with regular coffee, just do not pry.
DISCLAIMER! - It should be noted that although in recent times it is common enough to see someone drinking coffee in a chic café while reading the DaVinci Code™, there is no hidden, kabbalic or otherwise mystic numerology to the coffee types presented here. If you find yourself seeking secret meanings in these numbers, you have likely had far too much of whatever type you're drinking and have become paranoid. Do not consult a barrista! Barristas practice their own weird mysticism and cannot help. Instead seek a coffee cessation worker.
I would like to share with you an ancient poem about coffee. It was written in a male dominated society, so please try to see the value beyond the single sexist remark it contains.
Good Coffee Should Be
Black as Night
Strong as Death
Sweet as a Woman
*sigh* It brings a tear to the ee, doesnʼt it? Now, as regular readers will acknowledge, I often ask for feedback. By all means if I have left out significant elements, share your view with the rest of us. Until we meet again, maintain full speed, stay up late, wake up tired but determined.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
