who I write for...

So after a long pause I am trying to re-establish this habit of writing for no other reason than... ? whatever. It doesn't matter right? But I figured, there are but a handful of people who will ever read this. I haven't included the random people that I pick to drop a comment on Their blog. They come by as a courtesy. Nice of them, but they likely won't return.

Now do I actually write for the people that I know will get to reading this? In part I would assume that yes, I must. Then again... There is bound to be stuff in here that relates far back before they were part of my world. It isn't like I explain much when I write.

I am not writing for you. Only for me. and sometimes you. No, I am writing for the net. I am writing for the potential of a thing to be written.

Different tack: many people seem to post in an effort to connect with others. The people I want to connect with (which is Any of the regular readers here), I will see more often at school. This is not the purpose. When I surf blogsites it seems that the most prominent topic is "figuring myself out," or "the thoughts in my crazy head..." and commonly the opening statement is along the lines of I don't know what I'm doing with this blog, guess we'll wait and see.

I hate that shit. Boring. GahhhFuckBoring! Yet here I am doing something right similar. Why? I reckon that most blogs with that kind of start just fizzle shortly later. The users know it is a thing available to them, but don't have anything to say.

Worse than that is knowing that most of them really Do have something to say, but don't realize that it might be worth saying. "No, that's not important..." I picture them muttering to themselves, or "who would want to read what I've got to say?" That makes me sad.

Perhaps that is why I keep at it bloodymindedly even today when I am just pulling this rookie writer's shit. I write to assert myself on some level. It's a good enough level, too, because it doesn't Force my opinions, it just voices them in a relatively discrete, inoffensive way.

Hahhh! To the outsider this could suggest some kind of self-esteem issues, or insignificance complex. Of course the people who read this regularly and see me even more often, they know otherwise...

I guess that's that, and I should write something entertaining.