Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Simacia

Does it bother any of you who read this that there are no photos?
Does it bother any of you that there is no video?
Does it bother any of you that there is, in fact, no audio even?

I keep toying with the idea. If any of you feel it would Improve your reading experience, let me know and I will begin to make changes.

I am in a computer lab at school. There are folks trying to work here. The woman at the next row of machines has opted to bring in her children, including a crying baby. I call the crying baby "squawky brat."

Maybe that's harsh. There are places and times, though, and I feel no remorse at pointing out that this is Neither.

Quarter Finals

Germany vs. Argentina! I am quite pulling for Germany, however if it is well played I can accept the latter winning.

Italy vs. Ukraine! Ulrich assures me that the Ukes made the last round off a penalty gained by diving. I watched the last game and it was more than made up for. Go Ukraine!

England vs. Portugal! I've never really cared for England one way or the other. I've liked Portugal and Figo is right cool. But: Portugal outstepped reasonable bounds last game. Really really. So I suppose still Portugal but no biggie if England wins.

Brazil vs. France! Give credit where due: France put Spain away in style. They were slick. As previously mentioned though, I've been cheering Brazil since 1978. This will Not be similar to '98, either. At least this time the Brazilian captain will not be stoned out of his gourde.

Ronaldo! Lotsa people don't care for him. Lotsa people mock him. Say what you want, the fact is he just set a World Cup record for most goals scored. Should they beat France, the record will increase and be even harder to beat. Turns out most of the world will have to eat some crow as he really Did have something to contribute.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Jay Update...

The Twelfth Night has run its course and will be no more. I am debating whether to post pictures from it or not. While I think about it, feel free to email for some if you are so inclined.

I have not been writing for a while (seems like a long time). I think I shall do a soccer assessment at the end of the current round (round of 16) which is nearly done now.

Of course I must comment on it a little, so here it is. No big loss with Switzerland out. Their match today against Ukraine was one of the dullest matches I've seen in a while. The commentator said (quite accurately I feel) that it felt like a 'friendly' in pre-cup play. It went to penalty shots after more than 120 minutes. At this point the swisss keeper fell apart. Meh.

I need work. Some of you know this is an eternal struggle for me. I am contemplating going to the Barr Clinic to get breasts - then I will easily score some work at a bar or tavern in this town. Apparently breasts are pre-requisite excepting the rarest circumstances.

If I should have emailed any of you, call or write to kick my ass and it will be along shortly.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Apology and Retraction

from the post "How Latent is That?"

I aplogize for misguiding the reader and slighting America in analysis of Operation Mount and Thrust.
It has been suggested to me that in fact, Canada named the operation when joining it. I would not be surprised if this is true, though I cannot tell you for certain.
I was in general rant against the state of things and got outright sloppy. Sometimes we must re-learn lessons that have already been taught and here's mine: Get the Facts. I operated without them and have been called on it. Thanks to Stephen Falvo for pointing it out.

Overall, the fact that America endures so much slagging for things like foreign policy does Not make this error any more excusable. I promise more diligence in further rants. For the record, my stance changes little, but it is more important to me to be accurate.

Politics are depressing. I don't follow politics like I once did. Same with wars. I am beginning to believe that it really doesn't make a difference. Wars are even more depressing. Politicians making wars for Profit... well, follow the line of thought.

Again: I was wrong and openly say so. For some of you this will null and void any other argument I ever present. For others it will make no difference at all.

P.S. congratulations America. I say this in advance of the fact, but I expect your team to go through to the next round of World Cup play. Good luck with that.

Monday, June 19, 2006

World Cupdate

The following teams are through regardless: Ecuador and Germany, England and Sweden unless T&T can make-up the goal deficit, Argentina and Netherlands, and Brazil.

I have missed a whole series of games as of late and am rather not happy. I Did catch Ukraine making up for the pounding they took from Spain, by giving Saudi Arabia what for. Saudi played with some tenacity I must say, but there it is. I worry about how Ukraine will fair against Tunisia.

Side thought here: there is a book called "the biggest tongue in Tunisia," which I highly suggest, should you ever come across it. In fact, seek it out.

Right, soccer! It is the half between Spain 0 - 1 Tunisia as I write this line. Wouldn't that seriously upset the order of things? Apparently it's Spain been putting all the pressure on.

And with that, I'm outta here for now.
Edit To Add: Spain is through to next round for certain now, following an amazing three goal comeback begining in the 71st minute

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Missed soccer

Not that I've exactly Missed some of these games, but for good form I should be giving you all the info on it. Recently:
Germany 1 - 0 Poland. Apparently the Polish were not too damn happy.
Ecuador 3 -0 Costa Rica. :)
England 2 - 0 Trinidad / Tobago.

Let's make some revision at this point, my fianl take on who progresses and what matches to watch on the way.

Group A: Germany and Ecuador will go through, though Ecuador more impressively. Don't miss the match between these two division toppers, it should be magnificent. I am personally pulling for Ecuador.

Group B: I maintain England and Sweden, but T&T could prove me wrong. That would be pretty cool. England and Sweden duke it out on the 20th; this should be the definitive match of the group.

Group C: I still say Argentina will progress, but I simply will not call the rest yet. It looks like Netherlands at the moment, but that can change... All matches in this group should be good entertainment.

Group D: Mexico and Portugal. Unless Iran can beat Portugal, and with that piss poor showing the other day, it is possible. I like Portugal, but I think Iran has become my one middle east team I like - if they keep it up. Big game? Mexico vs. Portugal.

Group E: Tune in on the 17th to watch Italia dash America's hopes. Also don't miss the Czechs and Italia - I am hoping the Czechs will lead their division. Sorry America and Ghana, don't take it too hard.

Group Ffffffff!: Nothing can stop Brazil from going through. Don't miss any of their games (spot the bias). The only thing that can stop Croatia from going through is if the Socceroos dig deep down and pull off a serious upset. Three points on Japan is one thing, but they will face a different opposition with the rest of their division. Japan, though they have character, well y'know...

Group G: With South Korea leading the division in points right now, I will say there is a chance for them to progress. It is Koreas games that will hold the public i think. I cannot call the rest, except to say that Togo will not go through.

Group H: I originally wanted to see Spain and Ukraine go through. Thanks to the draw between the other two nations, it is still possible. I sat watching the webcast Begging God for a draw. She delivered. Watch Spain and Ukraine.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

How latent is that?

I understand Canada is involved with the U.S. led Operation that is current right now - Operation Mount and Thrust. Oh! Sorry Mountain Thrust. Let's go into those hills and show those dirty Taliban who's boss! (Oooohhhh! You're ssssooooo - dominant! ;) Y'know those Taliban that We put in power a couple years back?

I also understand that there are More reports of torture in camp X-ray. Looks like the U.S. have been a load of hypocrites all the way along. As for the idea of zero tolerance against terrorism, well we knew that was a lie to start, what with their government supporting terror gourps themselves.

What a farce! Holy overt latency, Batman! The parade of compensation just never ends with the government of our southern neighbours, does it?

Mixed Feelings...

Soccer again.
Spain 4 - 0 Ukraine.
Now I have liked the spanish side for a long time. I have often said that I would like to see them take a cup. However, Everyone likes an underdog, especially one who comes in with such a good record. If you don't like underdogs go away now.

That is a fairly crushing defeat. Just remember that Spain has a history in the cup that is unapproachable by the rest of this group. I am really hoping that Ukraine, rebounds, spirits high, and Crushes Tunisia and Saudi Arabia. Hang in there. I am certain they will still go through

A rare side?

Yeah, those last two were reaaaal cute, eh?
We all have our sentimental, silly moments. So I let my guard down.
Prolly won't happen again for quite a while...

Dog Songs (addition to rat songs)

Dog songs occur just as frequently as rat songs. I felt something slightly incomplete at the end of the last entry so here is my favourite dog song. It was written by Nora, a black and white bundle who Proves that Energy really Does equal mass times the square of the speed of light!
(sung to the theme tune from the once popular show 'I dream of Jeannie,')
"I am - I am the puppy
you are -you're not a scientist
you can't - you can't change
my D.N.A!
de dada dada dada
laaaa la
lala la laaala
laaaa la
lala la laaala..."

I would also like to acknowledge Shannon Bart-St. James, possibly one of the greatest purveyors of instant, off the cuff and improvised animal songs ever. Her endearing rhymes for Icky-gnomy-gnomy, Noˇc and Zu-zu have always been the hallmark of fine animal songs.

Rat Songs

Those of you with pets; you all do it. Some of you hide it and some of you share it, but we all speak for our pets. Eventually we make songs based on the perceived characters of our pets. I do it too.

My primary influence has been the rats with whom I have lived. There is a definitive character amongst rats I have known that leans their bardic fervour towards specific topics, namely: Cheeeeeese. Not to slot rats into a specific perception in society, but the fact is they sing a lot about cheese. Kind of like Dwarves singing about gold. "Gold, gold, gold, gold... Gold, gold, gold, gold..." I have read where dwarves in fact love iron more than gold, but it plays merry hell with the meter of their traditionally sung forms.

There is a loose knit sort of format to the typical rat song. It starts off with some lyrics which may even seem poignant, as though leading in to more profound realities, but some kind of cheese will always be mentioned. From there the original concept will be more closely linked with cheese. Invariably, the lyrics eventually devolve to cheese, cheese, cheese, etc...

An excellent example of this is witnessed with the remake of Moby's "We are all made of stars," created by my beloved, bewhiskered rodent roommates a few years back;
"Growing in numbers, growing in cheese
Can't fight the future, you are what you eat
People they eat some cheddar,
People they eat some brie
Noone can stop us now...
So won't ya give us some cheese
Cheese is so cheesy
and I do not mind
surrounded by cheeses
in front and behind
People they eat some cheddar,
People they eat some brie
Noone can stop us now...
So won't ya give us some cheese
Cheese is so filling
I feel cheese in me
Monterey Jack,
Feta and Brie
we are all made of cheese
(we are all made of cheese)
we are all made of cheese
chee-chee-chee-cheese...
*fade to silence*

You see? The song "Slinky Rat" does not in fact mention cheese anywhere in it. The lyrics are "Slinky Rat, (do doo, doodeleh doo), Slinky Rat (do doo, doodeleh doo) *key change, repeat*" It is the exception to the rule though. I aspire to eventually put together all the rat songs I have heard over the years.

The most recent one has obviously been inspired by World Cup, as all the rats I know have been hearing me chanting in support of my teams. They seem to have adapted the chant as follows:
"aaa loooooot a looot a looot of cheeeeeese,
aaaaa loooot oooof cheeeeese,
aa loooooot a looot a looot of cheeeeeese
aaaa loooot oooof cheeeeese"
If you don't know the original chant, you are sorely out of the loop.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Brazil! on two fronts...

So I will try and keep the beginning brief, but Surprise! Soccer!

Two very likeable teams played today: Brazil played and Croatia, who have been referred to as the 'Brazil of Europe,' played. This was a fun match! Fuuuuuunn-nuh! Yes the favourites in yellow and green won the day. But I cannot say Croatia lost. Both sides played well, with heart and vigour and both sides should be proud of their game.

If this game is the indicator, Japan and the Socceroos simply will not progress. Kind of too bad, as everyone should like the 'roos after that amazing comeback. Nonetheless - Croatia! - Brazil! Pure entertainment. Email me for a more complete description if you are so inclined!

Brazil, on the other front: I was blogstorming recently and came across some cool graphics. They are work examples done by a Brazilian civil engineer. Brazil! So I commented. and a response came. and I commented again. Possibly a new friend in the southern hemisphere...

France, Switzerland, bit of a disappointment but we have certainly seen worse in this cup. It was a good enough lead in to the real sport today.

C'est tout, mes amies. Plus a avenir demain.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Leave Nobody Behind

There are a number of people I have seen very little of lately. Now some of you I Can't see and that makes me sad, but I am thinking of you. Others, I Can see and will soon. Yes I caught my old friend teh Jenner online today briefly. We haven't done anything in months or years possibly.

For those of you I haven't seen in a while, because of my debilitating case of getting too little done (I think it's a mid-life crisis) don't hesitate to get in touch. I will Find time for you. Aside from getting a half decent job, making time for you is my number one summer project.

As for you crazy kids in Toronto and Hamilton, and you Know who you are, I Really miss you! Steve, Agneiszka, Tia, Jon, Anita, Bill, Shannon, Kai & Esme (^_^) When the opportunity presents itself I shall seize it. Just understand that I don't have the recourse to Create the opportunity yet.

aaaaaaand keep yer fingies X'd 4 me, that such a circumstance will change - for these things can turn on a dime and Bang! Next thing you know there's a Jay visiting you!

It comes in threes

Australia faced 84 minutes of Japan without scoring. During this time, The blue samurai had already scored. It was looking bleak. Then in the course of roughly 8 minutes. Aus (aka the Socceroos) pounded the tar out of th poor Japanese with 3 Goals! Ouch! Their next game is with 5 time world cup champions Brazil.

The Czechs played down America today, 3-1. Beautiful scoring there and who can be surprised at the outcome. I, who rarely give America any slack at all, will say this much: somewhere around the 24 minute mark one American made for goal and hit the crossbar. It could have been a Magnificent goal and after watching the replay about a dozen times, I wish it had gone in - not just for the guy who made the play, but for aesthetics in general.

The Azzuri are not even 10 minutes in to playing Ghana. I think this one is a no-brainer... I am looking for Italy to get three goals, even considering their extremely defensive style. If I am right then there will be three sets of three goals.

Edit to Add: My bad. Ita 2 - 0 Gha. Apparently it was a good game to watch. I wouldn't know. Still, if you take the Japan goal and add it to the Azzuri goal, you get three even. So there is simply a fractured symmetry here. Sort of.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Restoring the Sparkle

If this morning's game was somewhat bland, as I have intimated, it was more than made up for with the first match of the afternoon between Mexico and Iran. Excuse me, I started while the match was still on... It's over now and here's my take.

I like Mexico and would love to see them progress. I haven't cared one way or another about any of the Mid-East teams. That said, It was not surprising to see Mexico score first. What was a pleasant surprise was the style and push exhibited by Iran.

Moments after Mexico's first goal (their only goal in the first half), I stated it would be nice to see a 2-1 finish in favour of Mexico. Something about Iran's play made me like them enough to want to see them score. Well score they did, a short time later. I felt very good for both teams.

The second half came to me by webcast, which said "The second half has not, in truth,been of the same quality as the first." Mexico scored twice. Nice. Still, kudos to Iran for a stimulating matching in the first half.

For the people who regularly read this coloumn, I promise something more in my regular vein shortly. Hang in there.

Tactics...

What gets a Jay out of bed at the unsaintly hour of 7:45? World Cup Soccer! If you've read previous posts you should have guessed that. If you know me at all, you should have guessed that.

At 9 a.m. today Serbia Montenegro played against Netherlands. There was good game, but it lacked a certain sparkle I have to say. Netherlands won off a goal around the 20 minute mark from Robben. The guy was definitely player of the match. His single goal, persistence and close shots were entertainment throughout.

Serbia Montenegro played a good defense with spurts of offense, but their main issue was tactical decisions. Their aim, their sense of where to put the ball was off in many instances throughout the match. This is not in reference to hitting the net, but instead in moving the ball to each other.

Both sides played what felt like cautious aggression, which left me feeling a little bland. That's okay, I suppose, as it was their first game.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Fake it for me

Because nobody else ever Has to ;) Just for a short response, pretend you are interested in soccer...
...please?

Another one Missed!

I have yet to see a world cup game and it is too damn bad. Of the five that have run, the most recent is being called the best.

Argentina, previous cup winners have just finished playing a match with Cote d'Ivoire (Ivory Coast). The final score is Arg 2-1. Tomorrow promises more great game with my main interest being Serbia Montenegro squaring off with the Netherlands at 9 in the morning. Tune in!

To you whom I should be watching this with: Wish you were here. Sooner or later we Have to catch a match or two together!

Update Soccer...

I can't say it is surprising England won, but nobody saw this coming, in review of the game I missed, it turns out to be because of an Own Goal! Now that sucks hardcore for the poor bastard who did it...

Of course, I love England. I would live there. I love their enthusiasm. but when they Do win they sometimes go overboard on the whole WEEEEEEEEEE Won thing. This is simply an interpretation of the media representation I have seen. I would still live there in a heartbeat.

Nonetheless, sucks for England to have to win by not even scoring the goal themselves! Well I see no gloating about this win yet, so fair play to Blightey.

Trinidad and Tobago was one of those teams that I didn't know much about and so I tried not to call them. HowEver! They drew up close to the Swedes and held the match nil / nil all the way through! That's right,it was a draw. If that isn't impressive enough for a team that's never been to the Cup before, they did this while being down by a man for a good chunk of the second half!

Wow, T&T, I am impressed. Let's all keep watching for these guys, they may a heavy upset. Coming shortly (an hour or so) Argentina vs. Cote d'Ivoire

Friday, June 09, 2006

It's begun...

I reckon I am one of millions who will write on this topic today. I am not doing it for fame, but for the point of dispersing the info to those of you who wouldn't be affected except for reading my chickenscratch.

The FIFA World Cup began today, with host nation Germany playing the first match to Costa Rica. I did not Watch the game, alas, it was not an option. So I am not giving you the big breakdown on it, just relevant facts.

It should be no surprise whatsoever that Germany won. They are coming into this tournament with a heavy popular conception of possible winners (i.e. in My terms contenders against Brazil). Full time of 93 minutes produced a score of 4-2 for the hosts.

I am somewhat happy for Costa Rica in fact, because they did get two goals and I pegged them for merely one. Both of CR's goals came from Wanchope, a player I am not too familiar with yet. Fonseca took a yellow card fairly early on.

Lahm scored first for Germany and Frings scored last. Frings is a name you will hear again, cannot say for Lahm - don't know him too well.
Here is the name to remember for those of you who aren't following too closely: Miroslav Klose. He scored twice for Germany in this game. Four years ago he was being touted as one of the big up and comers. Hopefully he will give us some good viewing.

So there it is! It has begun! Part of me wishes I was in a bigger city for this, but then again it doesn't matter does it? I shall maintain the enthusiasm for All of you who can't be enthusiastic about it.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Tomorrow

Look, I guess I have to be the bad guy sometimes so let me do it swiftly: The Ice Has Melted. Hockey is Irrelevant. (not always, but certainly right now).

That said, let us all rejoice in anticipation of the imminent best sporting event in the world!

Giving up on video games

I didn't see this coming. Video games are a comfort thing for me. I take delight in getting good at some of them and then reclude to the sanctuary of them when reality really sucks. Now this process is dying, somehow.

I don't want video games. What I want right now, at this point in my life, is in fact a person and video games would be a small sacrifice. For the curious, it is a specific person, but y'know circumstance gets in the way.

I don't know what to do about it. Goodbye, video games, you were good for a long time, I'm sure you'll always be around. Bye...

---

...Are ya out there? I know you're there...

Angelo and Erica:

I just want you two to know, (actually I suspect Erica doesn't read this, so I am really writing just for Angelo, though this applies to both of them) I just want you to know that I still read your blogs.

I don't respond because you have to be Xanga to respond and I have forgotten my name and password as far as Xanga is concerned. I am too damned lazy to re-register. I am shameless in my laissez faire attitudes. I am sure you will accept this with all good graces.

Compare Root to Simac on movies...

That's right, this old shack has the same quiz. I love boosting shit from Root. Maybe one day he will even get angry about it. Go over to his blog and compare our answers.

1) What film made you angry, either while watching it or in thinking about it afterward?

Celsius 41.1
Oh! No!
I haven't even seen this Twin (fuckin') Towers movie and I'm right done with it. E! Nuff! Irate!

2) Favorite sidekick

Rosenkrantz in R&G are dead.

3) One of your favorite movie lines

I pick favourite lines out of the film itself, there is no favourite of all films. How could there be? Here's some pretty cool ones though. "Kiss kiss,... Bang bang" or "I can't stand the Stench of lies..." or "Gentleman you can't fight here, this is a warroom!" or "-Fucker!" in response to the line "you're one ugly mother-"... This one is always good: "All those memories will be lost, like tears in the rain" and of course everyone is partial to the scream Lola delivers in the casino which I cannot transcribe even with the IPA at my disposal. Ooh! "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die" or how about "Get on with it!" Prime material this one: "They cut the power! what do ya mean they cut the power? Their just animals man"this goes on and on. just ask for more and I can email you.

4) William Holden or Burt Lancaster?

Burt Lancaster is a person whom we used to make fun of by relating him as someone our parents watched. kind of a film equivalent to "adult contemporary" you follow? What was the question? I don't know: Burt Lancaster.

5) Describe a perfect moment in a movie

Lula and Sailor stop at some little place in the desert. He's inside. At the end of a porch which runs the length of the building sits an old black man on a rocking chair. Lula walks the length of the porch. Lula pauses. The old man acknowledges her existence without words. Lula walks back down the porch. The wind continues to blow.

6) Favorite John Ford movie

I am not goint to IMDB to pretend that I know every director for you. Could we say John Waters instead? Yes? - Pink Flamingoes.

7) What film artist (director, actor, screenwriter, whatever) has the least–deserved good reputation, artistically speaking. And who would you replace him/her with on that pedestal?

Julia Roberts. Same answer as Root. Replace with a brick.

8) Barbara Stanwyck or Ida Lupino?

Ida Lupino, I reckon. Stanwyck was Jeanie wasn't she? Ida Lupino I recognize by namesake and have no clue otherwise. Did the quizwriter try to be somewhat obscure on purpose?

9) Showgirls-- yes or no?

No. I bet most of you thought I would say yes. but I do not. I say no.

10) Most exotic or otherwise unusual place in which you ever saw a movie

40,000 feet above the Caribbean?

11) Favorite Robert Altman movie

See answer 6. And the last of answer 8

12) Best argument for allowing rock stars to participate in the making of movies

Our amps go to 11.

13) Describe a transcendent moment in a film (a moment when you realized a film that just seemed routine or merely interesting before had become become something much more)

Predator elects not to kill Maria whatsername in the subway because she is pregnant and predators don't kill innocents. It hitherto never occured to me that a character like predator could be 'developed.'

14) Gina Gershon or Jennifer Tilly?

Jennifer. I like the name. I don't care otherwise.

15) Favorite Frank Capra movie

Only one I've seen: It's a Wonderful Life. So much as Root said. However, if I hear one more Bad impression of Jimmy Stewart (What's that ya say Mary) I will likely vomit on the person who did it.

16) The scene you most wish you could have witnessed being filmed

When the death star exploded! I wonder what kind of ship they would have given me? An A-wing with a telephoto lens prolly, so's I could get the long shot...

17) Robert Ryan or Richard Widmark?

Enough with this shit. Who cares?

18) Name a movie that inspired you to walk out before it was finished

There have been two in my life. I cannot remember them, not even their names. Thank Heavens.

19) Favorite political movie

Apocalypse Now, or Dr. STrangelove or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb. That one where Will Smith was chased by the NSA or somewhat was decent too. Does Casablanca count? I like old war movies too: A bridge too far, Night of the Generals, Where Eagles Dare and the Dirty Dozen were enjobyable for me.

20) Your favorite movie poster, or the one you’d most like to own

Any of the ones my friend Bill did. I'm not really a poster kind of guy (as anyone who has seen me naked knows...) so I don't really care.

21) Jeff Bridges or Jeff Goldblum?

Goldblum I expect. Why?

22) Favorite Ken Russell movie

Who? what now? I don't fuckin' know.

23) Accepting the conventional wisdom that 1970-1975 marked a golden age of American filmmaking in which artistic ambition and popular acceptance were not mutually exclusive, what for you was this golden age’s high point? (Could be a movie, a trend, the emergence of a star, whatever)

Endless Summer, baby! ooooohhhhh yeah! giggity giggity! - No.
Is that conventional wisdom? I didn't know it was CW. I don't know enough to answer this question with any depth.

24) Grace Kelly or Ava Gardner?

Without a doubt, Grace Kelly. I have been in love with this woman since my parents let stay up to watch Dial M for Murder on Magic Shadows with Elwy Yost. Not sure how old I was but I know I was definitely speaking. Grace Kelly was my Hollywood love before the waif (godblessher) and still stands as a model of perfection that can only be parallelled and never surpassed. When I think of Grace I weep for all the sad sacks in Hollywood these days. She made it truly glamorous. Actually, I think I will just write a separate entry for Princess Grace. yeh yeh Ava's okay, whatever. As if you could put the two beside each other. Stupid fuckin question.

25) With total disregard for whether it would ever actually be considered, even in this age of movie recycling, what film exists that you feel might actually warrant a sequel, or would produce a sequel you’d actually be interested in seeing?

Thelma & Louise: Escape to the Afterlife!
*recovers from laughing fit* k, hold on...
Dead Alive?
hard question...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

bananas

The spear of destiny appears on my friend's television. I do not flinch. The cursor disappears to an entirely different field on my screen. I am prepared. The dog chews his slimy rawhide and drops it in my lap. Gross, but no issue.
The mice run across the kitchen floor, the tool shed (with the chainsaws) belches dust and filth, the messenger blinks inanely with distant news of migraines and fine dining. The sky streaks itself pinkish, like a week old gash healing nicely. The coffee drips slowly and prepares to start my day.

I am missing something important, but I won't tell you what it is. Many other things fail to affect me because of this, yet I am optimistic. I have been up too long. I am lethargic and pedantic. I should make it an early night. Tomorrow will be a busy day. A busy day makes a happy Jay. A happy Jay has things to say.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Bongiorno, Avespa!

Mr. Root came over to watch some Izzard the other day. We sat in the doorway while I smoked, for it is not good to smoke in the house. I passed through this same portal I speak of a dozen times that day. Once there was a honkin' big damned flying, stinging insect. I killed the insect and wondered where it came from. Whatever.
Yesterday I opened the door to find out precisely why there have been three wasps in my house in the last week. There is, as some of you psychic types already realized, a paper nest half the size of my fist hanging in my door frame for the world to see and recoil in horror at.
A freakin' Nest in construction! I can hear you all gasping and thinking 'what would I do if it happened to me?' Sit back and I will tell you what I did. First, I thought, I needed a ranged weapon. If any of you have ever gone into hand to hand combat with a wasp (especially a large one) you realize the odds are against you. It's not the sting of course, but the fact that they have six arms. Let me do the math for you: it means you are outgunned three to one just for starting.
I reasoned that if there is poison in the little bugger's tip, then I should retaliate with poison and feel no moral quandary with it. Weapon of Choice (not Christopher Walken) Windex. Yup, cuz it has a significant amount of ammonia in it and ammonia kills well over 99.9% of known lifeforms. Further, one shot in mist form and a flying thing of 3 grams or less will simply drop to the floor and be confused for a moment.
Can't you just see the vicious winged terror getting to (all six of) its knees and pondering: "well I was flying a moment ago..." Yes, that evens the odds plenty I'd say.
It was windex that also comprised the main assault on the wasp outpost, a branch office of Stinging Buggers Inc. Perhaps one day I will find the head office and take my consumer complaints right to them, but likely not. No really, I don't care if you're a wasp, I really don't. Just don't build your house onto mine. Just don't fly in like you own the place. Like the Jehovah's Witnesses have been known to do. Come to think of it, a lot of Them are wasps too, eh?
My longest standing friend Lara Thornton once brought a paper wasp nest to school for show and tell. It was so cool! A little frightening too, though. The nest was about.... two feet tall? Yup.
More on this later... Rehearsal now.

To all of you I haven't been in personal contact with lately, forgive me, it has been a long and hard working week. There have been very early mornings (for me) and extended days (also for me). There has certainly been some fun along the way (all for Me!) (k, mostly for me). Look for Bongiorno, Avespa! part 2.
(the title is Italian for Good Morning, Wasp!, in case you didn't have that figured).

Twelfth Nighty...

I don't know for sure. I haven't looked at the schedule. Stop asking for god's sake! I will post it all here.

Tonight, Thursday, the inimitable Srah (Not a typo) Gartshore will be directing. Satyrdae (Saturday), Ulrich will be directing. Wednesday, next week, Tova will return and we will all be off-book. That is what I know for sure right now. When do we present? See beginning of post for that answer.

Ulrich, I would also like to mention will be the third reference for trying to get into the MA program here. Keep yer fingies X'd 4 J. I am tired and just rambling about miscellaneous shit right now. Sorry. World Cup in slightly more than a week.

WORLD CUP!!!!! Catch the fever, oh you who pledge allegiance to the AJE! Feel the excitement O masters and mistresses of your own destiny! Pump up the jam, you super-freaks!

Moving...

Just really quickly, here's a great idea: When moving, let Jason take charge of everything. You will have enough on your mind anyhow. IN fact, you will still be required to put some serious thought into things. Will this be thrown out? Why not? etc...

Yes, the Jay will streamline your operations and smooth over interpersonal infractions when it comes down to it. These things are beyond your control, so why not put them beyond your worry by appointing the caring Jay to adress the issues?
Don't forget to have a good supply of hot dogs and mustard, with a little pepsi or juice ready too!