Stolen from Ms. LeBlanc

Face it, you all love a dash of plagiarism here and there. "Steal this hook," as it were, because "Oh look! He's using My work!" (^_^)

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson
Heavily Modified by Jason Simac

I. I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.....I am helpless; it isn't my fault.
It would take forever to find a way out, I force the issue expensively.

II. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I dodge it. They push me in and say "well that's life, son."
I can't believe I am in the same place;
but it isn't my fault.
I harness my sense of rage and frustration and find a Better way out, though it takes a while.

III. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there. There is the slightest statistical chance I Let them push me in, but this time by God they are coming with me.
My eyes are open. They are trembling. Inside the deep hole where I know there are no witnesses, I see to it that they will never mess with deep holes or other people again.
I know where I am, and ironically people think I have no negative side, yet:
It is my fault.
I get out immediately, but wipe the blood from my lips first.

IV. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
Some poor creature got shoved into it, I try to help them out, but often can't because they cannot see me.

V. I walk down a different street. I am very wary of new holes.