Listen to your SM

It is commonly held that women make better stage managers than men. It is simply a biological fact that they are better suited to the complex, constant, multitasking required to execute a good performance. I am male and a stage manager - I am not conteding this issue in any way or trying to prove men better. I do, however, expect plenty from my cast.

There is to my knowledge only one cast member who reads this and I fancy she would be too professional to dwell on what is said here, when she is at rehearsal. That is the bet I take; here's the rant.

Goddamn it come up with a Good reason to be absent, people! "I forgot" simply isn't good enough. You do get points for elegance, but not nearly as many as you lose for bad answer. "I was hungover" betrays a brutal honesty that I appreciate deeply, however, If you're adult enough to go out and get sauced then you're adult enough to face your responsabilities the next day. Locked your keys in the car? Take A Bus! In the very least, if you are going to lie about why you aren't there, make an effort and entertain me. Then perhaps I shall forgive you.

Learn your lines. There really is no excuse for this one. Just learn 'em. The fact is that with less than a week to go before the production runs, half my cast is still missing lines or using the wrong lines. It's Shakespeare, y'know! What, did you think maybe it would just leap into your heads like a hit song on the radio? Effort, people, Effort. To be honest, this is possibly the biggest problem the play faces right now. I am not too confident it will be overcome.

A quick mention has to be made to the divas and princesses. There are some people who are developing what I like to think of as "Rodney" syndrome. This affliction is characterized by not thinking one needs to follow directions and by getting a tad snotty when directed, then answering with replies like "just be glad I'm here." To the D's and P's with Rodney syndrome may I remind you that it was You who wanted into this production so Suck it Up and do what you're asked Or get the Hell of my stage Loser.

You see I have only been on stage for a short while, but I came on with a simple yet incredibly powerful premise to guide me: "Humility." You see, if I were so good that I didn't need you, I'd be in Hollywood or on Broadway and I wouldn't need you. Yet here I am in Sudbury and the way out is Not assuming I am better than this place, it is Proving it. That is done with hard work and perseverance, so, Humility.

I saved this one Thursday night to finish on Friday evening. It is now Saturday and I have lost the piss and vinegar that was driving this entry.

Suffice it to say at this point that I have brought my whip out from the old Hallowe'en costumes box. I shall practice tonight and woe to the girl who misses her lines tomorrow!